The top twenty things any aspiring world tourist needs to know before and as they see the world.
1. If you see it, and you want it, get it.
2. Don't say you'll do it later, you won't.
3. No calorie counting.
4. Don't drink water--you'll have to pee.
5. Always choose chocolate.
6. Watch your wrists.
7. Married men are off limits.
8. Apply deodorant... then reapply.
9. Don't fly with Peter Nash.
10. Never say never.
11. Be Mormon slutty.
12. Asians and scaffolding equal importance.
13. Don't stay in restaurants that smell like portopotties.
14. If the boys are drinking it--it has alcohol.
15. SHOW NO FEAR!
16. Remember, camels spit.
17. Reapplication of sunscreen is key.
18. [Enter city name] is very safe, but...
19. Superglue explodes.
20. If you plan on making friends, be sure you can drive to wherever they live.